• We destroy the love of learning in children, which is so strong when they are small, by encouraging and compelling them to work for petty and contemptible rewards, gold stars, or papers marked 100 and tacked to the wall, or A’s on report cards, or honor rolls, or dean’s lists, or Phi Beta Kappa keys—in short, for the ignoble satisfaction of feeling that they are better than someone else.
    — John Holt

Movie: The Mask You Live In

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by TexMom, May 4, 2016.

  1. TexMom

    TexMom 25+ Posts Admin

    This movie was an incredible exploration of the messages we send to our boys in America about masculinity. I believe every parent should watch this, especially if you are raising boys.

    Here's the description of the movie: The Mask You Live In follows boys and young men as they struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America's limited definition of masculinity. Pressured by the media, their peer groups, and even the adults in their lives, our protagonists confront messages encouraging them to disconnect from their emotions, devalue authentic friendships, objectify women, and resolve conflicts through violence. These gender stereotypes interconnect with race, class, and circumstance, creating a maze of identity issues boys and young men must navigate to become "real" men.
    Experts in neuroscience, psychology, sociology, sports, education, and media also weigh in, offering empirical evidence of the "boy crisis" and tactics to combat it.
    The Mask You Live In ultimately illustrates how we, as a society, can raise a healthier generation of boys and young men."

    The movie is available on Netflix.

    Jake likes this.
  2. TexMom

    TexMom 25+ Posts Admin

    Joe Ehrmann, former professional football player, talks about what it is to be a man in his TEDx Baltimore talk.

    Jake likes this.
  3. TexMom

    TexMom 25+ Posts Admin

    As an unschooling mom, the reference to violent video games in the movie as promoting violence in boys made me pause and think.

    While I agree, that a child who doesn't have anyone who is interested in him and/or what he is doing, violent video games can be a way that kids, particularly boys, get to express the feelings that they have repressed and may feel that the game portray's "real life." They may feel that this is how men react in real life to their emotions.

    However, it has been my experience in raising two boys, that if I am playing alongside them and we are TALKING about what is going on on the screen, that it is a great avenue for opening up discussions about violence, sex, gangs, stealing and other moral issues. It is a great way for kids to process, alongside their parents, these issues that they see not only on video games but on commercials, youtube and perhaps even in real life.

    If we as parents are involved with our kids and are willing to talk to them about these types of things and not make them taboo, I see these types of video games as conversation openers. My boys feel confident in talking to me about these issues and feel as though they are able to come to me with just about anything.

    For unschoolers, meeting our kids where they are - and perhaps for the time being that is violent video games - we have the opportunity to find out what it is that they like about these games and talk to them about that. Usually my boys are attracted to these games for a short time and then move on because they just don't identify with the characters. I think that being there with our kids to explore these games helps them decide for themselves that it might not be what they really want to be spending time doing. When we restrict them, I feel that they get curious about them, play them in secret, and then don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about what they see there.

    What are your thoughts on this aspect of the movie?

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